Mary Jane was my first love. I had wonderful memories about her. She was my inspiration to go higher and higher.
Flying in the bright blue sky, my first love soared magnificently in the azure blue sky. The cool breeze brushed lightly on my face. I was overwhelmed with joy. The Greene Park, near my house, had never looked as beautiful as this. Four other kids had nicer "love" than mine - eagle, butterfly and great-colored kites. But I did not mind, my plain white kite had always been there for me. She was my only love!
I was having a date with Mary near a huge tall tree when the great wave of wind blew. She crashed to the tree. I stared at it, mouth gaping and eyes widened. I tried to pull it with the string that was attached to her. But the string snapped!
"Somebody, help me please!" I yelped in dismay.
A young boy about my age came towards me. He had a colorful butterfly kite. He stood next to me and he got his kite too near to the tree and it landed there too. A pang of guilt struck me. If I had not asked for help, his kite would not be stuck! Beads of perspiration broke out, we were totally in despair.
"I am sorry… How should I address you?" I asked him, guilt-stricken.
"My name is Damy," he replied, forcing a smile, an unpleasant one.
Thank god he was not angry at me. A girl sitting on a bench reading a book turned around. When she saw us, she turned back to read her book. How indifferent she was? A boy was cycling on the track and he looked at us but he just went on cycling. Oh my, were these people really that unhelpful?
Damy and I were so sweaty by now. I could sense his despair. I was also so sad that I could not do anything! I tried to keep my composure but no idea flashed through my puny brain. I felt so stupid.
"The tree is too tall for us. There is nothing we can do, let's just go home," Damy suggested.
I shook my head. I was the kind of person who hung on to thing to the last bit. I tried to hold back my tears but I could not. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Damy dragged me out of the park. My eyes were just fixed on the kites. I could not take my eyes off them.
"Bye, Mary Jane. I will miss you, " I cried tearfully. "You are so mature, Damy," I admired him from the bottom of my heart.
We went separate ways. Along the way, I braced myself to face the music. My mom would be raging like a bull and I prepped myself to receive an earful from her.
My heart broke, I had lost my first love. My shoulders were droopy, my eyes were teary and my lips quivered. I was really upset. When I arrived home, I opened the door and saw my mom inside, watching television.
" Hi, did you have fun?" my mom asked cheerfully.
"My kite was stuck at the tree. Sorry," I apologized.
"It's okay. That kite is so old. You deserve a new kite," my mom exclaimed. That was exactly the opposite of what I expected to hear.
"Thanks a lot, Mom," I tried to sound excited but deep in heart I still felt a void where Mary was supposed to be. My mom bought me a new kite and I loved it as much as I loved Mary.
From that incident, I learnt to let go of things. Perhaps, that was exactly what Mary would want. I had become a more mature boy and Damy had since become my good friend.
I don't understand this story
ReplyDeleteI learnt to put in what describes your saying by putting in guilt-stricken or other describing words.
DeleteI learnt that after a common reply or question,I must use some phrases to make it more nice,like this one:''he replied, forcing a smile, an unpleasant one.''
ReplyDelete"I hated it!Seriously...."she replied,forcing an unpleasent smile.
I learnt how to put words after the words said and asked I also learnt the phrase soar magnificently in the azure blue sky.
ReplyDeleteI learnt that we can make our sentences better very easily.Example:"Somebody, help me please!" I yelped in dismay.This is a good sentence as it describes the action vividly.If the writer wrote 'said' the sentence would be dull and boring.Read this compo there are alot to learnt from!!!
ReplyDeleteI learnt that we should get the reader into the story.
ReplyDeleteI learnt the phrase "forcing a smile, an unpleasant one.". It is a very good phrase.
ReplyDeleteSentence: "Why did you buy this cake?" Janice replied, forcing a smile, an unpleasant one.
I learnt that I should use good phrases to express the emotions like "guilt-stricken", "mouth gaping and eyes widen" and put phrases behind the word "said".
ReplyDeleteI don't understand the story. some parts
ReplyDeleteI don't really understand this story but i learnt some new words.
ReplyDeleteI learnt that i should put phrases behind words like asked or said to express it in a better way, like "forcing a smile, an unpleasant one"
ReplyDeleteThe story is a bit weird at the end but the plot is good and i also learned some good words.
ReplyDeleteI learned how to add words behind said like "i forgotten to do my homework."i lied , guilt-striken.
ReplyDeleteI learnt how to use good phrase after a speech like "guilt-stricken" and "forcing a smile, an unpleasant one".
ReplyDeleteI learnt quite a lot in this compo, like using phrases after speeches, using good sentences and sometimes words.
ReplyDeletei learn Flying in the bright blue sky, my first love soared magnificently in the azure blue sky. The cool breeze brushed lightly on my face.
ReplyDeleteI learnt how to use good phrases or words behind said and other words like, "I didn't steel the eraser"." I lied guilt-striken.
ReplyDeleteI learnt how to use good phrases and good word in the compo and I would want to put the good vocabulary in my own story too!
ReplyDeleteSeoyun?
Deletewhat in the world?
I don't understand the story but the good thing is that i learnt alot of good phrases.
ReplyDeleteI learnt lots of new and good words/phrases.It gives me ideas of what I should write after the word said/asked or the most used words for description.Some of the add ons I just got to know from this compo, after the word usually used are
ReplyDelete1."Somebody, help me please!" I yelped in dismay.
2."You are so mature, Damy," I admired him from the bottom of my heart.
3."I am sorry… How should I address you?" I asked him, guilt-stricken.
The story is quite complicated, but there is many good phrases like eyes were teary and shoulders were droopy.
ReplyDeleteI learn to use 'magnificent ' and 'composure ' in the correct form.
ReplyDeleteDuring a speech , you can add guilt -stricken .Instead of saying I cried , I can also describe .Eyes were teary and shoulders were droopy.
I learnt "prepped myself" and "puny brain". These phrases can be used during times when something is going through your mind.
ReplyDeleteThe description was excellent , such as "azure blue sky" and "Hot tears rolling down my cheeks".
ReplyDelete