Situational Writing 2 - Greenfield Primary School Food and Fun Fair

Suggested response:

Dear Melvin

When you visit me this time, I want you to go to the Food and Fun Fair at my school with me (1m) on 2 June. The event will be held from 8.00 am to 5.00 pm (1m). It is being held to help school children whose families are in financial difficulty and all proceeds will go to The school Helpline Centre (1m). Pupils and parents will be manning the stalls (1m). At the fair, you can buy new toys and story books at unbelievably low prices (1m) and try on pony rides (1m).

I am really looking forward to seeing you soon!

Your cousin
Kate

Feedback:
1) You must take note that the event has not taken place and use the correct tense when writing to your cousin.
2) You need to tell Melvin that you want him to go to the Food and Fun Fair at your school, instead of merely the Food and Fun Fair.
3) You do not need to write the date and time in words.
4) You must not use the dash sign to state the duration: 8.00 am - 5.00 pm is not acceptable.
5) Be explicit in writing the points.
6) Manning is manning. It is not mending.
7) In a fun fair, there are stalls but no stores.
8) Do not indent the salutation and the signing off.
9) Use 'Regards' when signing off, not 'Your regards'

1	Isaiah	14
2	Regis	14
3	Megan	14
4	Justin	14
5	Jun Yang	14
6	Sabrina	14
7	Jerron	13
8	Alvis	13
9	Jessie	13
10	Stanley	13
11	Ivan	13
12	Max	13
13	Zheng Quan	13
14	Wei Ting	12
15	Regan	12
16	Tevin	12
17	Natalie M	12
18	Alisha	12
19	Misha	11
20	Darryl	11
21	Zhi Qing	11
22	Ryan	11
23	Ernest	11
24	Jonathan	11
25	Natalie	10
26	Nicholas	10
27	Owen	10
28	Shi Hui	10
29	Jevon	10
30	Bryan	10
31	Sherlene	10
32	Hui Ting	10
33	Benedict	10
34	Nabilah	10
35	Jayden	9
36	Chun Yuen	9
37	Ye Long	8
38	Zi Yang	7
39	Dong Wang	7
40	Glenn	7
41	Alton	6
42	Marcell	4

Average Score: 10.9 out of 15